Reader beware: Some graphic humor lies in the post below. Be prepared for bodily functions, etc.
Today was just any normal day at school... or so I thought. I taught an older class of 5-6 year olds, then I taught a younger class of 4-5 year olds. The Chinese teacher who sits in the class with me left, and a little girl went to the bathroom. As I'm teaching, a little girl comes out of the bathroom with her pants down. She starts speaking to me in Chinese. I'm not sure what she's saying because I don't often talk about going to the bathroom in Chinese. She starts pointing to her bare butt. I start getting the feeling that she expects me to wipe her butt. Hah, nice try little girl, that is not my job. I start frantically looking around the room for the Chinese teacher who is nowhere to be found. I try to motion to her to go back into the bathroom - the whole class is watching her do this, by the way. She does not listen. I try to tell her, again, to go back into the bathroom - she's exposing herself! Then she turns around, puts her hands on her butt cheeks and spreads them, as if to say - this is where you need to wipe! I lost it at this point. This was an unreal moment. At this point I walk her back into the bathroom and we waited a few seconds for the Chinese teacher. Classic.
I thought my run-ins with little children and going to the bathroom were over after this. It got even better. As I was walking out of school at about 4:20, there were a bunch of different classes playing on the playground. I look over, and one little boy - probably 3 or 4, is letting it ALL hang out. Not only are his pants around his ankles, but he is peeing. He stands there for a solid 20 seconds before the Chinese teachers notice him, and I of course have stopped and am staring and laughing and enjoying myself. He was just wiggling around, peeing, in the middle of the playground with kids running all around. Wonderful.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Saturday, March 20, 2010
China is Funny
Hellooooooo! This is my fifth, and it's going well!
Here is a short list of some of my favorite names of my students:
Train
Xena
Yvnne
Sheep
Hans
Golynn
Jeck
Car
Bird
Kayeyn
Rater
Yoyo
Genre
Rieson
Nava
Pure
Banana
Danton
Hemy
I've tried to tell some of their teachers that these names are not okay, but I don't know if they'll listen. It's hard for me to keep a straight face when I call on Sheep, Car, Bird, Genre, Pure, and Banana. They are all too cute for words, and I've posted some pictures of them on facebook if you want to see. Their favorite game that I've taught them is "Helen says" - cleverly changed from "Simon says". They get so excited when we play and it's fun to trick them. Some of them are too smart.
I haven't blogged in awhile so I have a lot of ground to cover, but I can't remember everything I wanted to say... typical. A couple weeks ago I ate pig's throat with my Chinese friend from W&L. We met for lunch one day, and of course he took me to eat hot pot (I have very bad memories of eating hot pot in the past). I told him to order, but I didn't want anything weird - no weird parts of the animal. All of it was pretty disgusting, but when he dumped something in and I asked what it was he told me pig's throat. He obviously didn't think I would think that was weird. I tried it, much to my dismay, and it was DISGUSTING. Crunchy and chewy and so strange. Yuck. Never again.
I have a cold for the millionth time since I've been here. The Chinese people tell me it's because the weather is changing so much. It hasn't been warm at all really, I still wear my down coat most days. We had a sand storm a couple weekends ago - I woke up on Saturday morning and the sky was a wild color of yellow and orange. Lovely.
Last weekend I went to a Chinese wedding! My best friend Rebekah knows a Chinese guy from inner Mongolia (the Chinese province) who has a big community of inner Mongolian friends. We went to dinner with them one night, and the engaged couple invited us to their wedding. So, we went, and I ended up being some sort of flower girl. Me and another Chinese girl stood and threw flower petals while the bride and groom walked up the aisle. It was funny. I couldn't understand much of what they said during the ceremony. There was basically a Chinese emcee who was talking WAY too loud - lots about happiness, money, good fortune, etc. Then all the groom's friends, most of whom are singers for the army, entertained everyone. Rebekah and I skipped out on the rest of the day's activities...
I think I get next Monday off work for some holiday, so that's exciting. Sheila, my roommate, and I really need to finish setting up our apartment. We still haven't decorated much and the walls are bare and depressing. I'm really enjoying living with her. She's started hanging out with my friends - she knew most of them before but didn't hang out with them much, but she likes them a lot so that has been fun. Last Friday I went to a clothing market with four of my Chinese co-workers - it was a blast! I was arm-in-arm with them all afternoon. However, at this market they don't let you try anything on. It was scary to buy things without trying them on! You should all come visit me because things here are SO cheap. Not great quality, but still...
Please keep me in your prayers! Pray that the Lord will reveal to me what I should be doing here, but that I will also live day to day and not worry about the future. Miss you all!
Here is a short list of some of my favorite names of my students:
Train
Xena
Yvnne
Sheep
Hans
Golynn
Jeck
Car
Bird
Kayeyn
Rater
Yoyo
Genre
Rieson
Nava
Pure
Banana
Danton
Hemy
I've tried to tell some of their teachers that these names are not okay, but I don't know if they'll listen. It's hard for me to keep a straight face when I call on Sheep, Car, Bird, Genre, Pure, and Banana. They are all too cute for words, and I've posted some pictures of them on facebook if you want to see. Their favorite game that I've taught them is "Helen says" - cleverly changed from "Simon says". They get so excited when we play and it's fun to trick them. Some of them are too smart.
I haven't blogged in awhile so I have a lot of ground to cover, but I can't remember everything I wanted to say... typical. A couple weeks ago I ate pig's throat with my Chinese friend from W&L. We met for lunch one day, and of course he took me to eat hot pot (I have very bad memories of eating hot pot in the past). I told him to order, but I didn't want anything weird - no weird parts of the animal. All of it was pretty disgusting, but when he dumped something in and I asked what it was he told me pig's throat. He obviously didn't think I would think that was weird. I tried it, much to my dismay, and it was DISGUSTING. Crunchy and chewy and so strange. Yuck. Never again.
I have a cold for the millionth time since I've been here. The Chinese people tell me it's because the weather is changing so much. It hasn't been warm at all really, I still wear my down coat most days. We had a sand storm a couple weekends ago - I woke up on Saturday morning and the sky was a wild color of yellow and orange. Lovely.
Last weekend I went to a Chinese wedding! My best friend Rebekah knows a Chinese guy from inner Mongolia (the Chinese province) who has a big community of inner Mongolian friends. We went to dinner with them one night, and the engaged couple invited us to their wedding. So, we went, and I ended up being some sort of flower girl. Me and another Chinese girl stood and threw flower petals while the bride and groom walked up the aisle. It was funny. I couldn't understand much of what they said during the ceremony. There was basically a Chinese emcee who was talking WAY too loud - lots about happiness, money, good fortune, etc. Then all the groom's friends, most of whom are singers for the army, entertained everyone. Rebekah and I skipped out on the rest of the day's activities...
I think I get next Monday off work for some holiday, so that's exciting. Sheila, my roommate, and I really need to finish setting up our apartment. We still haven't decorated much and the walls are bare and depressing. I'm really enjoying living with her. She's started hanging out with my friends - she knew most of them before but didn't hang out with them much, but she likes them a lot so that has been fun. Last Friday I went to a clothing market with four of my Chinese co-workers - it was a blast! I was arm-in-arm with them all afternoon. However, at this market they don't let you try anything on. It was scary to buy things without trying them on! You should all come visit me because things here are SO cheap. Not great quality, but still...
Please keep me in your prayers! Pray that the Lord will reveal to me what I should be doing here, but that I will also live day to day and not worry about the future. Miss you all!
Monday, March 8, 2010
Teacher Helen
This is my second week of teaching! I'm writing this entry in a break between classes.
My first week was good! I have to be at school at 8:15 every morning, which means I wake up at 6:45 and leave my house by 7:20. My commute is about 45-50 minutes - walking some, taking the subway, and taking the bus. I have three classes a day for one hour each, but I only teach half a class at a time. So in the morning I half a class (about 15 kids) for thirty minutes, then the other half for thirty minutes. I have two hours of class in the morning and then a four hour break from 11am-3pm. I do different things during my break. They provide lunch (Chinese food...) every day, but I usually don't eat much of it - I can't! Today we have rice, vegetables (baby bok choi with tree ear fungus), a belt-like seaweed, and pork (with the hide and fat still attached). They give HUGE portions, so today I said I only want "yi dian dian dian de" - a little, little, little! The chef said - are you on a diet? I said no! I only eat a little. But the truth is I can't stomach this stuff. I'm going to need to find another snack today. Also during my break I hang out with my Chinese co-workers and Western co-workers. The other English teachers are Ronda, a 40+ American woman who is a great teacher, has lived here for 13 years, and has worked at this school a few years, and Anna, mid to late 20s from Iceland! They are great. We go shopping some days and run errands together. Some days I'm tired so I just sit and play on my computer, but hopefully I'll start making use of my time and studying or tutoring or something.
Then in the afternoon I teach one more hour and get home around 5pm. So, I basically only teach three hours a day, but it's still pretty exhausting! My students are ages 2-6. They're SOOO cute! The little ones are REALLY little. I speak mostly Chinese with them. The older ones are pretty smart! They hang all over me and are amazed by my blond hair and blue eyes! I like my school a lot, it's a great school - it's called Beijing Normal University Branch Kindergarten. Last week some of the teachers asked to take pictures with me which was funny. Of course we did the peace sign in our pictures. I'm enjoying teaching and learning a lot. Some days are frustrating - Mondays, the beginning of the week, aren't great because I'm still working out the kinks of my lesson. Some people tell me I look like a Barbie (because of my hair and eyes) and some call me "foreign doll" ("yang wawa").
Last Friday night Rebekah and I went with her Chinese friend, Xin, to the market. I got a bag to carry to school and put my stuff in, and she got some fake Uggs (the Chinese call them U-G-G). Xin is from inner Mongolia and studied in Canada for a long time so his English is great. After the market he took us to a dinner with 10 of his friends at a nice Chinese restaurant. We had a private room, and it was quite an experience. Rebekah and I had our first experience with "baijiu" - literally means white liquor, but I think they translate it as rice wine. It's much stronger than Western liquor like vodka, and it tastes VERY bad. All of the people there were from inner Mongolia - some are successful businessmen, and some are singers. One is a pop singer and the other three sing in the army. We ate and they toasted a LOT. The Chinese really like to toast each other for several reasons - they believe if you drink and get drunk together you are closer friends, and they are challenging/testing each other. The toasted each other to welcome each other back from vacations, congratulate people on getting engaged, and who knows what else - I couldn't understand most of it. They toasted us, too, to welcome us into their community. Rebekah and I drank our orange juice most of the time, so no harm was done.
I threw a birthday party for my bestest friend Rebekah on Saturday night at our friends Daryl, Patrick, and Ben's house (we went to Hong Kong with them). They have a great, big, nice apartment and we cooked Italian food! It was so fun. Yesterday, Sunday, I went to the Next church again and ate Malaysian food after with friends. My friend Michelle, the concert pianist, brought two Chinese friends. After lunch the four of us hung out all day! They are so fun and we had a great time, they're super cool.
That's all for now! I'm going to meet a friend for bubble tea. I had two big classes of milk tea for lunch yesterday and was shaking soon thereafter because of all of the caffeine... I need to lay off the naicha (milk tea).
My first week was good! I have to be at school at 8:15 every morning, which means I wake up at 6:45 and leave my house by 7:20. My commute is about 45-50 minutes - walking some, taking the subway, and taking the bus. I have three classes a day for one hour each, but I only teach half a class at a time. So in the morning I half a class (about 15 kids) for thirty minutes, then the other half for thirty minutes. I have two hours of class in the morning and then a four hour break from 11am-3pm. I do different things during my break. They provide lunch (Chinese food...) every day, but I usually don't eat much of it - I can't! Today we have rice, vegetables (baby bok choi with tree ear fungus), a belt-like seaweed, and pork (with the hide and fat still attached). They give HUGE portions, so today I said I only want "yi dian dian dian de" - a little, little, little! The chef said - are you on a diet? I said no! I only eat a little. But the truth is I can't stomach this stuff. I'm going to need to find another snack today. Also during my break I hang out with my Chinese co-workers and Western co-workers. The other English teachers are Ronda, a 40+ American woman who is a great teacher, has lived here for 13 years, and has worked at this school a few years, and Anna, mid to late 20s from Iceland! They are great. We go shopping some days and run errands together. Some days I'm tired so I just sit and play on my computer, but hopefully I'll start making use of my time and studying or tutoring or something.
Then in the afternoon I teach one more hour and get home around 5pm. So, I basically only teach three hours a day, but it's still pretty exhausting! My students are ages 2-6. They're SOOO cute! The little ones are REALLY little. I speak mostly Chinese with them. The older ones are pretty smart! They hang all over me and are amazed by my blond hair and blue eyes! I like my school a lot, it's a great school - it's called Beijing Normal University Branch Kindergarten. Last week some of the teachers asked to take pictures with me which was funny. Of course we did the peace sign in our pictures. I'm enjoying teaching and learning a lot. Some days are frustrating - Mondays, the beginning of the week, aren't great because I'm still working out the kinks of my lesson. Some people tell me I look like a Barbie (because of my hair and eyes) and some call me "foreign doll" ("yang wawa").
Last Friday night Rebekah and I went with her Chinese friend, Xin, to the market. I got a bag to carry to school and put my stuff in, and she got some fake Uggs (the Chinese call them U-G-G). Xin is from inner Mongolia and studied in Canada for a long time so his English is great. After the market he took us to a dinner with 10 of his friends at a nice Chinese restaurant. We had a private room, and it was quite an experience. Rebekah and I had our first experience with "baijiu" - literally means white liquor, but I think they translate it as rice wine. It's much stronger than Western liquor like vodka, and it tastes VERY bad. All of the people there were from inner Mongolia - some are successful businessmen, and some are singers. One is a pop singer and the other three sing in the army. We ate and they toasted a LOT. The Chinese really like to toast each other for several reasons - they believe if you drink and get drunk together you are closer friends, and they are challenging/testing each other. The toasted each other to welcome each other back from vacations, congratulate people on getting engaged, and who knows what else - I couldn't understand most of it. They toasted us, too, to welcome us into their community. Rebekah and I drank our orange juice most of the time, so no harm was done.
I threw a birthday party for my bestest friend Rebekah on Saturday night at our friends Daryl, Patrick, and Ben's house (we went to Hong Kong with them). They have a great, big, nice apartment and we cooked Italian food! It was so fun. Yesterday, Sunday, I went to the Next church again and ate Malaysian food after with friends. My friend Michelle, the concert pianist, brought two Chinese friends. After lunch the four of us hung out all day! They are so fun and we had a great time, they're super cool.
That's all for now! I'm going to meet a friend for bubble tea. I had two big classes of milk tea for lunch yesterday and was shaking soon thereafter because of all of the caffeine... I need to lay off the naicha (milk tea).
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